My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
