theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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