i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
