I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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