I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
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I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
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Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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