I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
