She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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