I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
