dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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