It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
