I heard we made out
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
