Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
