I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Betty ford says i'm here all night
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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