ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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