Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
