how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
