Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
