I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
