is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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