Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
