Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
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Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
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Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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