I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
worst night to have a conscience
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
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