I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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