Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize