i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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