I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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