Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
