I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
