We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
