You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
