I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
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it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize