I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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