My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
