i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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