I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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