that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
did i just pee glitter
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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