Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
