thus making me awesome and them whores
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
