It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
