I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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