I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
