things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
