I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize