I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
