Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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