in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize