So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
