he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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