She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
