I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
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