Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
