I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
