Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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