they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
