Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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