also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
