There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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