She's JV to your varsity
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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