He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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