i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
