I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
