i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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