Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
